Have you ever thought about what you want in a relationship? No, right. There are a lot of Americans who find this a dreadful question. Well, relationships and dating are a beautiful part of life to find a partner who will stay forever. It is all about mutual growth, love, respect, and support. But it is not so easy. To find someone who can genuinely make your eyes shine and heart smile throughout life, the first thing you need to know is You, Who are you? What are your needs? What do you want in your relationship? Is the person worthy of your time?
When you don’t understand yourself and your needs, you end up in a mess. You will only ruin your life in a bad relationship, regretting and blaming your partner. It will also affect you mentally and physically. So what to do? Stop dating? Be Single Forever? No, all you need to do is know yourself and your priorities.
This article will give you all the answers about relationships. What are you looking for in a serious relationship, How to maintain a healthy relationship, and many more? So, grab a coffee and enjoy this informative piece.
Values and Important Thoughts To Look In A Relationship
1. One should be real and honest.
Honesty is the best policy. It is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Choose a partner who can be honest and authentic to you. If one keeps on lying to each other, then there is no chance that it will stay forever. Dishonesty and cheating lead to unnecessary fights, conflicts, and breakups. If your partner avoids talking about things openly, or he is playing a double role and disguising you, then you should directly end that relationship.
Choose a life partner who is always ready to truly open up to express their needs, fears, and desires with you. This will increase trust and strengthen a healthy and sustainable partnership.
2. Have a good sense of humor
Sense of humor is an essential ingredient for a fruitful and healthy relationship. Your relationship can become wry if your partner cannot make you laugh or laughs with you. Life is hard. Everyone tries their best to deal with negativity and toxicity. If you are dating or thinking about being in a relationship, choose a partner who genuinely has a good sense of humor. Be with someone who can laugh with you amid life’s troubles, hurdles, and challenges.
Find a partner whose humor can make you forget all of life’s stresses. It is okay if they sometimes do not find your jokes/puns amusing, and not being able to understand the humor can make it difficult for your relationship to survive. Look for someone who enjoys sharing your life with you even when the time is not in favor.
But this does not mean that you should search for someone who laughs all the time and does not take life seriously. Having a good sense of humor and being not serious in life are two different things. So don’t get confused. Find a soulmate who can make your life worth living.
3. Supportive when needed
According to researchers and studies, relationship satisfaction can be fostered by a proper and excellent support system. When two people from different communities, places, or countries come together, they bring separate visions and dreams into their lives. When you have such a supportive person in your life, you will be able to follow your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Choose a life partner who is always there to support you in your ups and downs. Find a person who can build confidence in you and respect your point of view rather than making judgments and criticism. Supporting does not mean changing one's own life. It means being non-judgemental.
4. One who is a good listener
Communication is not only a method to express your emotions and feelings. It also means to listen carefully to what someone is conveying. Find someone who listens to you and values your words. If a man is in trouble and a woman gives him a piece of good advice, it means that she is a good listener. Listening not only requires ears but also heart to understand the points. Sometimes there comes a scenario in life where life gets tough and becomes difficult to understand. At that point, all you want is a person with whom you can pour out all your thoughts without any fear of getting judged.
If a person on a date asks what you are looking for, directly say, “Some who is a good listener.”
5. One who respect each other’s personal space
A healthy relationship needs space to nurture and grow. Too much indulgence in life can be toxic. Find yourself a companion who values the importance of personal space. If a couple spends time 24/7 together, they feel claustrophobic in the relationship. Even if you are in a serious relationship, do not forget your individuality and the other people around in your life, such as friends, family, etc. Personal space helps you understand your emotions, priorities, and responsibilities towards other people. For example, you can read a book, attend any dance or yoga classes or maybe do any activities that make you refreshed and recharged. Look for a partner who has the same positive thoughts about personal space as you do.
6. Encourage your ambitions and goals.
Relationship partners play a significant role in helping and hindering their partners to achieve their ambitions and goals. Make sure that the person you are dating will motivate you to get success. According to researchers, couples who encourage each other to pursue their goals such as career, friends, fitness are more likely to succeed, and their relationship stays happy forever. Most of the time, people respond negatively to apparent efforts to help. In that case, help your partner indirectly and less noticeably. This way, the other will not feel controlled, threatened, or controlled, and you can effectively help them. Choose a partner with whom you can share your future goals, and discuss your priorities.
7. Accept weaknesses and focus on strengths
Each person in this world has some flaws in them. No one is perfect. Choose a partner who appreciates you and focuses on your strengths. Some evidence proves that couples who value their partners' strengths and efforts are more committed and invested in the relationship. Partners who keep talking about each other's weaknesses or recognizing their drawbacks are less satisfied with their relationship, which can later lead to divorce. While going for a date or relationship, know your partner if they are okay with your flaws and accept them. Don’t jump into a relationship directly. Take some time and if you get a positive sign, take steps to think about having a happy life with her.
8. Have art of compromising
Nobody wants to compromise with their life. They want everything according to their plans. But it is not possible that you will be happy after that. Choose a partner who can sacrifice to make their relationship grow and be stronger. Sacrifice builds a healthy bond and seals commitment with your partner. You should look for a partner who knows the importance of compromise and will try to solve all your differences by compromising on them.
Suppose your potential partner is not interested in finding the middle ground for the points you are keeping or arguing about something. In that case, it's a sign that they do not care for your feelings and the future of the relationship. To avoid these things, find a companion who genuinely loves you and has the art of compromising to make their relationship work.
9. Emotional maturity
In a romantic relationship, emotional maturity is a valuable trait for a relationship to be happy and successful. You should look for a partner who is not afraid to communicate or convey his feelings openly and knows how to manage and control their emotions. To keep relationships healthy and strong couples need to understand their priorities. They should be equally supportive and empathetic when required. Some common traits and behaviors of emotional maturity are
(i) Be flexible and adaptable
(ii) Accept that they are not omniscient (one who knows everything)
(iii) They are approachable and have a strong sense of self
(iv) They always take responsibility for their actions
(v) dare to accept failures and do not blame others for them.
Find yourself a companion who is emotionally mature as it will help you maintain your relationship stronger and healthier.
10. A reliable person
Life is unpredictable. There will always be ups and downs. To face these troubles and hurdles, everyone needs a person with whom they can share all their fears and doubts without any hesitation. While looking for a person to be your partner, make sure they can be reliable on your significant other no matter what. Your life and relationship become much easier and more beautiful when you have someone to share it with.
We all need someone with whom we can share our good and bad moments. When you surround yourself with a reliable partner, your life will get filled with happiness and joy. Choose a partner who can be calm during heated conversations, never allow your disagreements to affect the relationship, and can help you resolve the conflicts and battles in the best possible way.
11. Regular communication
Transparency in a relationship develops with communication. Regular communication will help you avoid unnecessary fights and conflicts. One partner should never be guessing what’s happening with the other one or what problems he/she is dealing with. It is essential to express your emotions clearly, whether negative or positive. You should look for someone honest, direct, and upfront in sharing all the things bothering them in the relationship. Communication helps to avoid misunderstandings. It builds trust, grows love, makes relationship bonds strong, and uplifts mood swings. If your partner does not have communication skills, make them comfortable with you and help them open up their feelings.
12. A thoughtful partner
A thoughtful partner cares about you and wants to deepen the intimacy in the relationship. If you are dating someone or planning to get married, observe how she talks about her family and relatives. Does she check on you when you both are not together? Does she remember your favorite movie, food, or color? Does she make a little gesture to make you smile?
Thoughtfulness assures that you are not alone when your partner is there. There is nothing more comforting than having the one who genuinely loves you a lot when things are not in favor.
13. No pretension
Pretending and faking make relationships complicated. It becomes challenging to know if the other is real or fake, honest or lying, good or bad. It's okay if you have a bad day in the office, are stressed about work, or don’t like a particular thing. You don’t need to pretend that everything is normal to create an image in front of your partner. It is OK to be natural and real you. If you are looking for a date or a relationship, make sure they are not faking it up.
If your partner keeps on pretending, she will get tired of it one day, and sooner or later, she will only wear her out. The worst part is instead of showing the best; she may come up with the worst.
Choose a partner who does not pretend to be perfect and be comfortable around you just the way she is.
14. Takes care of physical and mental health
Health is wealth. If your physical and mental health gets badly affected because of your partner, you are in the wrong relationship. Choose someone who helps you take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
Physical health means your partner does not hurt or abuse you physically. In the same way, When I say emotional or mental health, it means that your partner does not say harsh or abusive words to you when you fight or argue. You should choose that life partner who respects and cares for you genuinely.
15. One who accepts the way you are
Relationships are all about loving, caring, and evolving as a better person. But some people want their partner to be perfect. They want their partner to change all the habits against societal norms or do not go with status. Let me tell you, make relationships for your happiness, and you should be comfortable the way your partner is. Showing off can be dangerous for a healthy and strong relationship. So, choose the partner who accepts you the way you are. Being natural is the beauty of human life. Therefore, prioritize yourself first and then look for someone who gives you the same value and importance you deserve.
16. Can differentiate between arguing and fighting
Fighting once in a while is okay in a healthy relationship. However, using the term fighting reflects negativity which involves physical, emotional, or mental abuse.
So instead of fighting, we can use the word argument.
Arguments mean disagreeing with each other's opinions. In a relationship, sometimes there comes a situation when it will not be in your favor, and that's okay. Just listen to each other's point of view, their vision, cooperate, and come up with a solution.
Find a partner who can differentiate between arguing and fighting. Always remember that your partner should be your companion, not an enemy. She/he is a person who constantly remains on your side despite whatever comes.
17. One who appreciates you
Appreciation is an essential tool for a happy relationship. When you appreciate your partner, it makes them feel happy and beloved. They feel good about themselves, and it urges them to go with new vigor to build their relationship stronger and wealthier.
Choose a life partner who appreciates you once a day.
Suppose your partner made dinner for you or planned your birthday party; take a moment and say you are thankful to God for having them in life. These little gestures will make your partner smile, and your relationship will grow and nurture beautifully. There will be fewer chances of conflicts, fights, and difficulties. Your life will get filled with enthusiasm and excitement.
Tips To Make A Relationship Strong And Healthy
- Plan a small date in a week.
- Try to communicate openly and freely.
- Spend some quality time with each other.
- Always be open to change when required.
- If needed, seek help from others to make your relationship work.
- Try to focus on solutions instead of problems.
- Do not ignore your partner's feelings.
- Do not take your partner for granted.
- Listen more and talk less.
- Never bring up mistakes of the past.
- If you say sorry, mean it.
- Go for a holiday together.
- Don’t bring your pride into the relationship.
- Never compare your partner with your exes.
- Do not talk about your exes.
- When you fight with each other, resolve it before going to bed.
Relationships and dating are all about sharing, building, and growing mutually. It cannot survive on its own. It needs love, care, and nurturing of couples that can create a mutual connection.
To choose a partner, it is necessary to understand yourself and the pre-requites you want in a relationship. However, it is your priority to define and know who you are. For choosing the perfect partner for a healthy relationship, competency plays a vital role in nurturing and growing together forever. If you want to start your relationship, find someone who genuinely cares for your existence, who has a good sense of humor, one who appreciates you, one who respects and treats you with love and care.
You should always be in that relationship that can transform you and help you become a better version of yourself.
It will take time to find the perfect match, but when you finally get the love of your life the way you want, your life will be worth living.